I’m back on medication, and the difference was noticeable from day one. I was already in a depressive state, and somehow I was able to rise out of it.
Day one: Getting out of bed was easy. The day didn’t seem to dark. And I found things to talk about.
Day two: I exercised (just a little bit, but still). It felt good, and I’m back on my physical therapists routine to help my hips (which are notorious for causing problems for me).
Day three: I talk and talk and talk. I smile. I feel good. But, the talking part is where I got worried. Am I talking too much? Am I feeling overly confident? Do I have racing thoughts? The major question – is this pushing me into hypomania.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being there. But I know my psychiatrist wouldn’t like me to reside in those states and for good reason. But the more I think about it I notice what’s missing for it to be characterized as one of my hypomania states.
- I still need and love sleep, I’m just not craving an excessive amount.
- I can calm my mind and my thoughts (with the help of mindfulness).
- I’m not making impulsive decisions with my money.
- I’m not overly interested in sex, although I enjoy it again which is nice.
- I don’t feel invincible – just, dare I say it, consistently happy.
It’s been about a week and a half and I still feel great. I missed my medication one night, and I noticed a difference the next day, I felt the weight of the world slowly trying to pull me back down. I mean, is this what happiness feels like? Consistent happiness. Content.
I feel warm, energetic, ambitious (but not too much), comfortable, and determined to make healthy lifestyle choices to combat my mental illness.
I really hope this sticks, at least for a while.